Summer Reading, Summer Laughs
Scroll down for the whole page of laughs.
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Alien Antics!
What kind of car does Luke SkYwalker drive?
-A ToY-Yoda!
What did the astronaut see in his frying Pan?
-An unidentified frying object!
What did the alien say to the magazine rack?
-Take me to Your reader!
What is woolly and comes from outer space?
-A Ewe-F-O!
Earthman: Have YOU ever heard of Saturn?
Martian: It has a familiar ring to it!
What did the spaceman grow in his garden?
-Alien beans (beings)!
What do YOU Set if YOU cross Santa Claus with a flying saucer?
-A U-F-Ho!-Ho!-Ho!
Flow do aliens keep clean?
-TheY take meteor showers!
What's crunchy and travels 1,000 miles an hour?
-A space chip.
Cowboy Jokes
What do you Cal a horse who lives next door?
a neigh-bor!"
Whet are horses bad dancers?
They have two left feet.
What did the cowboy say when his dog fell in the fire?
Hot dog!
What office did the female horse run for?
Mare (mayor).
Why did the cowboy bet a dachshund?
Because he wanted to get a long little doggy (get along, little dogie).
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No silly, cows go 'Moo'!
A cowboy road into an inn on Friday.He stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be?
-His horse's name is Friday!
What do you get from nervous cows?
-Milkshakes!
Why did the cowgirl plant bullets in her garden?
-She wanted to grow bangs!
Why did the train robber take a bath?
-Hewanted to makea clean getaway!
Dinosaur Jokes
What do you find in a dinosaur junkyard?
-T-wrecks.
What do you call a dinosaur with chocolate icing?
-A donut-saur.
What does a dinosaur use to blow things up?
-Dino-mite.
What was on owie called in prehistoric times?
-A dino-sore.
How do you make a dinosaur sore?
-Take away the 'dino'.
How do you stop a dinosaur from charging?
-Take away his credit card.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
-A bronco-saurus!
What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
-The terror-dactyl!
What do you get when you cross a triceratops with a kangaroo?
-A tricera-hops!
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
-Jurassic Pork!
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
-Out of the way!
What's the best way to talk to a t-rex?
-Long distance!
What do you call a fossil that won't do anything?
-Lazy bones!
Ancient Egypt Jokes
How did brave Egyptians write?
In hero-glyphics (hieroglyphics)!
Who changed King Tut's diapers?
His mummy.
What would you get if you crossed a yellow mummy with a green mummy?
A golden mouldy.
Why do Egyptian undertakers make good detectives?
They're good at wrapping up their cases.
Which Egyptian dog ruler died very young?
King Mutt
What kind of music do mummies prefer?
Rap music.
If a mummy gives you two times as change for a quarter what happened?
Egypted (he gypped) you!
What did the baby pyramid say to the other pyramid?
How's your mummy?
Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone?
She was tied up!
What did King Tut say when he got scared?
I want my mummy!
Pirate Jokes
Which Pirate made a lot of mistakes?
-Wrong John Silver
When is a Sailor no longer a sailor?
-When he's a board!.
What does it cost for a pirate to have his ears pierced?
A buck an ear!!
Where do you send a sick pirate ship?
-To the dock!
Why couldn't the pirates play cards??
-They were standing on the deck!
What do you call a pirate ship that lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
-A nervous wreck!
PIRATE:I was shipwrecked an lived on a tin of sardines for a week!
CAPTAIN: But weren't you afraid you'd fall off??
Space Jokes
Why Is Saturn like a telephone?
-Because it has so many rings!
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Athena. Athena who? Athena falling star last night!
How do you get a baby astronaut to go to sleep?
-You rock-et!
Why Is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock?
-Because It's a little meatier!
What planet Is shaped like a fish?
-Nep-tuna!
Where did the astronaut put his peanut butter sandwich?
-In his launch box!
Why couldn't the spaceship land on the moon?
-The moon was already full!
What kind of paper do astronauts write on?
-Space Statlon-ery!
Why do astronauts wear bulletproof vests?
-To protect themselves from shooting stars!
What game do astronauts like best?
-Moon-opoly!
What Is Mickey Mouse's favourite planet?
-Pluto!
Knock, knock! Who's there?
Detail. Detail who? De-tail is de-end of de-comet!
The Summer Reading Club is a joint project of the B.C. Library Association and the B.C. Ministry of Municipal Affairs, Library Services Branch, Honourable Cathy MacGregor, Minister
Artwork ©Catharine MacKenzie
©BCLA 2000